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12/20/2007 2:08:44 PM
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Les
Posts 4243
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Ladies,
This is your Thursday afternoon smile.......
I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I`m Belinda!" This perky clipboard-carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to doooo is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?"
I`m thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain`t rocket science."
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"
"Fine", I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard a crackle. Immediately I felt a zap then complete darkness, the power was off!
"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snagggg." Belinda headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You`re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy, the door`s wide open so you`ll have the emergency hall lights. I`ll be rightttt backkk."
Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that`s exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite "Hi, how`s it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible
"Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."
"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I`d been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am soooo sorry!"
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps..
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12/20/2007 2:24:23 PM
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Melanie
Posts 460
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OMG... I would have been screaming and swearing a blue streak!
Are you okay?
Les, you are truly a marvel - a saint with a sense of humor to boot!
~~Melanie
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12/20/2007 2:29:23 PM
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CatBookMom
Posts 6264
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You must be joking! `how her head ended up between the clamps`, indeed! I hope you gave her and her supervisor and the head of the clinic some Words to Remember. Your patience is incredible; I`d have been wiggling out after 15 minutes and stomping around yelling at the top of my Stern Voice.
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12/20/2007 2:43:20 PM
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Les
Posts 4243
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I can`t take credit for this misadventure - My SIL sent it to me this morning!
Les
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12/20/2007 2:44:13 PM
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CatBookMom
Posts 6264
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Did this happen to her? Or did I fall for yet another "Internet/Urban legend"? I`m so gullible sometimes.
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12/20/2007 2:47:31 PM
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Amy QOY
Posts 3839
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That is funny! Now y`all know that didn`t happen to Les, there are no "Earls" and "Bubbas" in Canada!
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12/20/2007 2:48:34 PM
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Les
Posts 4243
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I can`t take credit for this misadventure - My SIL sent it to me this morning!
Les
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12/20/2007 2:55:32 PM
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bets
Posts 18976
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I thought the whole process was designed to keep me puzzled and in the wrong spot. Pretty sure of that.
I don`t think there`s a machine big enough to fit in all the people who pissed me off yesterday.
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12/20/2007 3:51:48 PM
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Melanie
Posts 460
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Duh - I didn`t read close enough & thought this happened to *you*...!
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12/20/2007 5:06:43 PM
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benne
Posts 19258
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I knew this couldn`t have happened to you when she just let the woman leave the room without more of a fight and some choice words. ;-}
B2
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12/20/2007 10:18:47 PM
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evelyn
Posts 990
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Well, Les, you sure had me going. I was about to send you the name of a contact person for the regulating body for mammograph technicians.
Someone is going to pay for this one, was my response.
Good one Les......Evelyn
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12/21/2007 6:21:05 AM
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Guest
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you must be Canadian! :)
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12/21/2007 8:16:30 AM
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SeeJayneKnit
Posts 5237
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You totally had me, Les!
Except for the two hours part.
I think Belinda moonlights at White Spot. We`ve been served by her a number of times (ick)
Thanks for the laugh!!
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